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Find out how in the Secrets to Pleasing a Woman from a Guy with a Micropenis.) (Sometimes even the smallest guys have the most confidence.
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But hell if he wasn’t the most confident guy in a room full of confident guys. It’s also quite possible that Donald's enormous schlong did him no favors, and he's no more the CEO of Fortune 500 company than I am. I would sit there, mesmerized, and it’s even quite possible that he hypnotized me.
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Holding his penis in one hand, he would casually swing it back and forth as he held court and expounded on life in all of its myriad complications. When I was barely older than my oldest son is now, I was on the high school wrestling team and there was a senior named Donald whose penis was at least a foot long, soft.ĭonald would sit in the locker room naked. If my sons just had the biggest dicks in the first place, it would save me some work and anxiety.
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And also in ways I can entirely contemplate but also might be aspects of life I never really understood in the first place, which is just as terrifying.įor instance, I'm pretty sure it's my job as a father to teach my sons how to act like they have the biggest dick in the room, even when they do not. Like any parent, I'm terrified that I'll fail my kids in ways I can’t even contemplate yet. It’s about swagger, and that means nothing to her. Unlike me, she doesn’t think their penises represent a physical manifestation of being a man, and the idea that swinging your dick says something about who and what you are, even if you’re the kindest man around.
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She also cares about their study habits, and whether they’re kind and good. She cares about their ability to socialize and how we can enhance their emotional intelligence. Which isn’t to say she’s not a caring parent. I don’t think she’s spent one moment contemplating the penises of any of our boys. This is not something my wife worries about. But here's what they don’t tell you about circumcisions: When the hood is gone, much of the size goes with it, and seeing this made me sad. Zach’s penis, and then his brother Slater’s, looked fairly large to me at birth-large enough, anyway-and this had made me happy. There were no physical problems, but there were psychic ones. There were no problems at all with the circumcision.
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We were planning his bris, and I become obsessed with the possibility that the skin tag would somehow complicate the circumcision, or worse, cause the mohel to cut too deeply. They are annoying, but for the most part they are no big deal. Skin tags are those small, extra, mutant pieces of skin that suddenly appear on your body one day, unannounced and unwelcomed. When our older son was born-and let's call him Zach to protect the innocent-he had a skin tag on his foreskin.